Fear—1 Day until Media Mile, 29 Days until Princeton 5K, 164 Days until Fairy Tale Challenge

I am, right now, very scared about an upcoming run. The Media Mile is tomorrow, and I still can’t run a mile without walking some of the distance. I’m doing this run in front of my colleagues, all of whom are young, fit, beautiful, and lovely. I am none of those things anymore. I’m not saying that for sympathy. I’m saying that because it’s a reality. I’m comfortable with aging—I’m healthy, I’m happy, I’m fortunate.

I am also terrified about this race. I’m not terrified that I won’t finish. A mile is a short distance for me. I’m not worried about my speed because I work with very fast runners and so I’m not really part of the contest. I’m worried about the fact that I am going to have to walk through some of the one mile run. Not most of it. In fact, just a small part of it, but some of it.

I have been trying to run further without taking a walk interval, and, so far, I can go about .6 or .7 of a mile. Then, if I walk about .2 of a mile or about 30 seconds, I can run again.

Now, I have written a few articles about using the Run/Walk pacing strategy. Basically, runners take scheduled walk breaks in order to conserve energy. There is one difficult thing about this strategy. At the beginning of a race (or even a run), you feel energized and hopeful, and so you want to take off and *not* take a walk interval.

So, for example, I can run straight for four to five minutes, and then I end up walking for a 30-seconds or a minute and then I run again.

However, a better strategy for a runner like me would be to run for a shorter interval so I can run further and still feel energetic. It is truly amazing how significantly taking a walk break can affect your overall running, energy, and mindset. Most of the runners I’ve interviewed who use this strategy do so in marathons and ultras.

I’m just going to do the best I can tomorrow, but I wish I weren’t doing this with my co-workers. This week, one of them told me that the good thing about this race is that everyone faster than me will be in front of me, so no one will watch me. They will all finish five to ten minutes (or more!) ahead of me, and, as we all know, older women are invisible. No one is going to pay any attention to me. I keep reminding myself of that.

A few weeks from tomorrow, I will run in my local 5K, and then I will start training for the Fairy Tale Challenge, using a combination of Nike Run Club and the Galloway Run/Walk training plan. One of my goals will be to no longer be afraid.

Speaking of fear, while I am no Arnold Schwarzneggar (thank God), I often have to remind myself of how amazing it is that I am running. In races. In front of people. It’s a little bit heroic. Doing anything instead of doing nothing—like Hamlet—is heroic.

In this scene from The Last Action Hero, a teacher, played by Joan Plowright (Laurence Olivier’s widow, an amazing actress), talks about Shakespeare and a little boy fantasizes about his favorite action hero.